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Monday, June 20, 2011

And I'll send all my lovin' to you

Well, today's the day. He leaves this evening. MEPS tomorrow and then bootcamp the next day. I haven't slept in 23 hours, I've been crying off and on for 8. Gotta wake Angel up in an hour and a half. I'm also hiding online. I keep looking at facebook and chat and going offline when his mom signs on. She seems to think that the phrase "I'm trying not to think about it" means "keep pressing the subject". This, of course, made my cry. :/
It's going to be an emotional 2 months. I'm so depressed right now, my mother offered me a hug when she gets home. Text me and said she'd hug me. I can't even remember the last time I actually hugged her. Granted, that's mainly my fault. I'm not the most touchy person in the world. Never really have been. And, before you can make assumptions, I have never been physically abused in any manner, sexual or otherwise. I just don't like people being near me or touching me. Mom says I've always been like this, even when I was really little, I didn't even want her to hold me when I was sick. I kinda feel like maybe that hurt her. To have a child that doesn't even want you to hug them, let alone touch them at all.
Alisa and I are supposed to be going the mall tomorrow, taking Zoey for a little girl's day. I'm looking forward to that, cautiously optimistic.
I'm tired but can't sleep...This is going to be an off day of all sorts. :/

I'm gonna go for a bit. I'll probably update again tonight if the Sandman hasn't decided to bash me in the head to get me to sleep.

~A Sad Little Me

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