Showing posts from October, 2015

My Immortal and a Waking Nightmare

Five years ago today, I came back to Ohio after spending a week in Texas with my first love. This month also marks four years since our relationship fell apart and two years since I lost my dogs. Needless to say, this is really not my time of year anymore. And it fucking sucks. October used to be my favorite thing for so many reasons. Crisp weather, the leaves changing colors and spiraling to the ground, clear blue skies and Orion visible at night, not to mention Halloween and apple season. Instead, I've spent the last few years dreading everything to do with October because of Angel. It sounds stupid, I know, we've been over for four years, but I still have a hard time with that. I think it might be because I fell in love with him when I was sixteen (three years before we dated) and I had really thought we had something. I can honestly say that I have not let anyone that close since him and that is a terrible thing. There's a sort of loneliness lurking inside of me and I…