Showing posts from 2010

Close your eyes and pretend I'm by your side

I'm counting days like heartbeats and butterfly wings. 33 to go and I'm losing my mind with this anticipation and these nerves.
Work is going eh. We've been pretty slow on the nights that I work and it sucks. But what sucks more is when they schedule me on a monday after me doing third shift on the weekends. I am so exhausted by the time I get off on Monday that I feel sick. I was so pissed, you have no idea. :(
Things with Angel are still pretty amazing. I'm still trying to get used to having a man in my life (outside of my Papa) that actually cares about me. It's a weird feeling. I'll probably never overcome the damage inflicted by Charlie or by Dave (bio dad and step-dad, respectively). Charlie abandoned me when I was a baby. Made it quite clear to me by the age of 3 that he wanted nothing to do with me. I, as a child, often wondered what I had done wrong. Was I bad? Was it my fault that daddy didn't love me? Then Dave, the man I have called dad since I wa…

Don't be stupid, your know love ya

Alisa is definatly having a little girl! Woo! I was right!
Angel is still the most amazing man ever, in my heart. I spend most of my time talking to him and I can honestly say I'm falling in love with him. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him.
Things with Brittany are a lot better than they were this time last year. I hung out with her a few weeks back and we had an amazing time.
Ashlynn, however, is another story all together. I am DONE with her. I am tired of trying. 2 and a half years. I have tried for 2 and a half fucking years and I can't do it anymore.
Watched all of Wolf's Rain and sobbed like a baby today. The deaths of the characters I loved so much was painful. I never want to watch the ending of that again.
Now, I'm talking shop with Neal and waiting for Angel to call later.
43 more days until Texas. <3

Later Loves,

On the subject of my life

Well, I know it has been some time since I updated all of you lovely people on my life.
I am still working at the diner, even though I am really beginning to hate my job. I am still in Toledo, although not for long.
My best friend, Alisa, is pregnant with a little girl. We found out yesterday the gender of the baby and today is her 19th birthday. We had a decent last two days, very lazy and calm. Lots of NCIS.
I am dating an amazing man named Angel. It will be three months this month. I have known him for almost 3 years and I'm going to Texas for a week in October for his birthday. And to meet his family. Then he's coming here in December to go to the Lights Before Christmas at the Toledo Zoo with me and to meet my family. That poor guy doesn't know what he's gotten himself into. If everything keeps on going to the way it is, I'm moving in with him at the end of January. I am so excited.

Well, I'm off to bed, kiddies.


Stupid bitches.

Go. Read it. Laugh at the first entry and it's utter amazingness. It makes me grin like a fool.

Love from the Silence,

Sing me something soft, sad and delicate

Or loud and out of key...

So, I set something into motion today that i really didn't want to. But I knew I had to. I love her to death, but she makes me feel so lost sometimes. she's my best friend and most of the time, she ignores me. So I gave her an ultimatum. Now, it's all up to chance.

I'll keep you posted.

With love from,

...Sing me anything.

Baby, It's three AM I must be lonely

Listening to the music from the Lion King right now and thinking about the way things turn out.
Ryan looked me up on myspace. My Ryan. The one guy that I NEVER got over. I know, it's been 5 years since I was with him. I was a kid then, he was the first guy to be there for me and I think I will always carry him in my heart.
It's wierd to think about all the ways you change over the years and to see who remembers you and who forgets all about you.

Work is going pretty well. I got to wear my kick ass red lipstick today and my bosses loved it. Got to kind of watch Fringe and Bones. Next week, I am setting Gran's DVR to record Fringe at the very least. I LOVE that show. Castle on monday was FANTASTIC. I love that show too. I think I watch too much TV.

Well, I'm out for now.

Later Loves,

On the philosophy of my boobs.

Interesting title, I know. I was wearing a low cut shirt at work Monday and this older woman complained about my boobs. It was funny as hell because my Gran and my boss decided that I should wear slutty stuff to work. As long as my nipples and what not are not showing. I laughed. A lot. That lady was just jealous because my boobs are nice and hers are not.
My little cousin got into a car accident last night. Other car ran a stop sign and Nichole tried to swerve to miss them but still ended up hitting them. The van is totalled. Nichole, however, is fine. A little bruised and more than a little freaked out. I'm just glad that she wasn't hurt.
Today is my mom, Jody's, birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! even though you'll never ever read this. I'll only get to see her for a couple minutes today when she comes into work to get her turtle cheesecake that Mike and Tim are saving a piece of.
I had so many more things I wanted to say on here right now, but I have work in 15 minu…

And you will fall IN LOVE with the moonlight

So come on, come on and say so...

So, since the last time we talked on here I
Got a boyfriend.
Turned 19.
Ended things with said boyfriend.
Got a job.
I guess thats' all the really happened.

So in other news...How the hell are you?

xD Just kidding. I think I've been going crazy. Well, that's kind of normal, I guess. I've been so tired of late and basically living at my grandma's house is hell. Total fucking hell. I miss my bed, my mom, my dogs, my cat. I miss my house in general...for the most part.
Fuck it, I really need to go to bed because I have work at 8 in the freaking morning. >.<

Good night, Loves.

You're never far away from me

I've been looking through the years and crying at the memories. How much we've been through as a whole, as a group, as a family, as sperate parts of the whole. Because we are. We are a whole, a group, a family. We're beaten and battered and bruised. We've fallen, we've collapsed, pulled it together and relapsed. And some how, through it all, we're still here, still standing, still fighting, still holding on and still together. We've overcome more than most, seen more, cried more.
But we've also laughed more. Learned so much in such a short span of time. We learned not to take each other for granted and that friendship can survive anything if you put your heart into it. I'm learning to be a better friend. And I've got to tell you, I do have regrets. But I'm working on those too. There were some bridges that I burned and scattered the ashes over the water. And for those, I'm glad. They were never really worth it in the end. There are bridge…