Friday, September 3, 2010

Close your eyes and pretend I'm by your side

I'm counting days like heartbeats and butterfly wings. 33 to go and I'm losing my mind with this anticipation and these nerves.
Work is going eh. We've been pretty slow on the nights that I work and it sucks. But what sucks more is when they schedule me on a monday after me doing third shift on the weekends. I am so exhausted by the time I get off on Monday that I feel sick. I was so pissed, you have no idea. :(
Things with Angel are still pretty amazing. I'm still trying to get used to having a man in my life (outside of my Papa) that actually cares about me. It's a weird feeling. I'll probably never overcome the damage inflicted by Charlie or by Dave (bio dad and step-dad, respectively). Charlie abandoned me when I was a baby. Made it quite clear to me by the age of 3 that he wanted nothing to do with me. I, as a child, often wondered what I had done wrong. Was I bad? Was it my fault that daddy didn't love me? Then Dave, the man I have called dad since I was 4 and half, has emotionally abused me for most of my life. Recently, he's been starting to get pretty close to physical with my 15 year old, little brother. He lays a finger on that kid, and his ass is going to jail. Mark my words on that one. I am not seeing my little brother go through that kind of shit. It's getting to the point where Davey doesn't even want to be around him. Davey is his biological son and he still treats even him like shit. I don't know why my mom puts up with it. If Angel did anything like that, he'd be lucky to wake up at all the next morning.
But anyways, I don't have to worry about Angel being like that. He's a great guy and he's gone through that kind of shit. He knows the pain it causes. I love Angel, I really do. I can't wait to see him. 33 days. Just over a month. <3 <3 <3

Other news...
I went up to the school for a little bit last night and got to see some of my old teachers. Davey was a little shocked. He thought I was joking when I said I knew almost every teacher in the English and Social Studies departments. :) Went and seen Mr. Drake as well. He's the photography teacher and honestly one of my favorites. It was cool to see everyone again. I also got to see Davey's girlfriend Becca. I can honestly say I'm proud of my little brother on that one. She's cute and has an actual body. The girl has curves. She's not a stick figure. Good little brother, not following the average American male and wanting a size double zero girl.

Well, I'm out.
Later Loves,