Saturday, February 5, 2011

Your words in my memory are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are and I lie down on the cold ground and I, I pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms...

And I used to stay awake at night, wondering if life would ever change. I'd had boyfriends before, but they never really meant anything to me. I never let them get to close, never really let them touch me. A hug, a kiss, maybe holding hands, but that was always it.
I remember how we first started talking. Such simple phrases out of pure randomness, this nagging feeling in my gut, telling me to talk to you. There was something almost familiar about you. So I took a chance. Asked you to be my pet. Who would have thought you'd actually answer me?
But you did. You were in a bad situation at the time. Depressed, your life spiraling out of control.
Then you were gone, I didn't hear from you.
It wouldn't be for a almost a year before I would hear from you again. I had been sick, rushed to the ER with a skyrocketing fever. You were worried about me. I thought I could have cried because (and I wouldn't admit it then) I had missed you.
Another lapse in time, I heard from you again. This time we actually talked instead of it being a comment on a page. You told me about your car accident. How you were lucky to have walked away from it all, let alone so unhurt. I was upset over the thought of you being hurt, I remember that clearly.
More time went by, sporadic hello's, just enough to know the other was still alive.
Then, we go to April of 2010. I had gotten a cell phone with the internet on it. You just happened to be on AIM. I said hi. I felt a sense of vertigo, waiting to see if you would answer. You did. My heart fluttered.
A few weeks later we were tenatively dating. You confessed to me your fears, your worries, your hopes and your dreams. You told me of your past and of the mistakes you made and I listened. I accpeted. You did the same for me.
I went to see you for your birthday. It was the first time we had ever met face to face. It was strange. It had felt like I had always known you. We slept, wrapped in eachothers arms every night for a week. One simple week, the happiest I have ever been. I was comfortable with you, I felt safe. And you said you loved me. You still do, every day. And you call me yours. And for that, I would give anything.
I love you, Angel. Now, then and forever. <3