Silence is Serenity

So...my boyfriend joined the Army. I am terrified, proud, upset, confused, worried. I'm pretty much a mess over it. I am so afraid of him getting hurt, of becoming some one I don't know. Of being broken. We find out Wednesday when he goes to basics. We've been talking about getting married in the next year and a half to two years. His mom is excited for that. So am I. I want to marry him, I want to spend my life with him. I mean, I love him. I truly do. And I miss him like crazy. It's been a bad morning. I miss my godmother. The fact that she won't be able to be at my wedding, won't get to hug me and tell me she's proud of me...it hurts. I have so much going on in my life right now, amazing things, and I feel so lost because she's not here to share it with me. And I hate it, I fucking hate that she's gone. Her birthday is in 11 days. It's going to be sad day. I'm going to be a mess. I'm still so broken inside because of it. Losing her was...

Wow, it has been a really long time since I updated on here. Angel, what can I say? I am in love with that man. The week I spent with him for his birthday was the best week of my life. And that's saying something because I've got some pretty good memories. Now, we're counting down the days until my birthday because he'll be here with me. 52 days. I honestly can't wait to see him again. Even though he's joining the army after my birthday and I am so completely terrified that he's going to get hurt or worse. :/ I just want him to come home, safe, to me. And I will still be here, waiting for him, as always, when he gets home. I love him and there is no way in hell I am going to abandon him like some heartless bitch. And don't give me that "it's hard" bullshit. NOTHING IN LIFE WORTH HAVING COMES EASY AND LOVE IS ALWAYS WORTH FIGHTING FOR. That's all there is to that. If you don't have the strength to fight for someone, to wait for them,...

I'm counting days like heartbeats and butterfly wings. 33 to go and I'm losing my mind with this anticipation and these nerves. Work is going eh. We've been pretty slow on the nights that I work and it sucks. But what sucks more is when they schedule me on a monday after me doing third shift on the weekends. I am so exhausted by the time I get off on Monday that I feel sick. I was so pissed, you have no idea. :( Things with Angel are still pretty amazing. I'm still trying to get used to having a man in my life (outside of my Papa) that actually cares about me. It's a weird feeling. I'll probably never overcome the damage inflicted by Charlie or by Dave (bio dad and step-dad, respectively). Charlie abandoned me when I was a baby. Made it quite clear to me by the age of 3 that he wanted nothing to do with me. I, as a child, often wondered what I had done wrong. Was I bad? Was it my fault that daddy didn't love me? Then Dave, the man I have called dad since I w...

Alisa is definatly having a little girl! Woo! I was right! Angel is still the most amazing man ever, in my heart. I spend most of my time talking to him and I can honestly say I'm falling in love with him. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. Things with Brittany are a lot better than they were this time last year. I hung out with her a few weeks back and we had an amazing time. Ashlynn, however, is another story all together. I am DONE with her. I am tired of trying. 2 and a half years. I have tried for 2 and a half fucking years and I can't do it anymore. Watched all of Wolf's Rain and sobbed like a baby today. The deaths of the characters I loved so much was painful. I never want to watch the ending of that again. Now, I'm talking shop with Neal and waiting for Angel to call later. 43 more days until Texas. Later Loves, ReJect

Well, I know it has been some time since I updated all of you lovely people on my life. I am still working at the diner, even though I am really beginning to hate my job. I am still in Toledo, although not for long. My best friend, Alisa, is pregnant with a little girl. We found out yesterday the gender of the baby and today is her 19th birthday. We had a decent last two days, very lazy and calm. Lots of NCIS. I am dating an amazing man named Angel. It will be three months this month. I have known him for almost 3 years and I'm going to Texas for a week in October for his birthday. And to meet his family. Then he's coming here in December to go to the Lights Before Christmas at the Toledo Zoo with me and to meet my family. That poor guy doesn't know what he's gotten himself into. If everything keeps on going to the way it is, I'm moving in with him at the end of January. I am so excited. Well, I'm off to bed, kiddies. ~ReJect

http://vampirefreaks.com/journal.php?u=ShadowsBlood Go. Read it. Laugh at the first entry and it's utter amazingness. It makes me grin like a fool. Love from the Silence, ReJect

Or loud and out of key... So, I set something into motion today that i really didn't want to. But I knew I had to. I love her to death, but she makes me feel so lost sometimes. she's my best friend and most of the time, she ignores me. So I gave her an ultimatum. Now, it's all up to chance. I'll keep you posted. With love from, ReJect ...Sing me anything.