Yesterday was amazing. I found someone that makes me smile. He's cute and sweet and funny. He has fluffy hair and pretty eyes and he understands that I'm emotionally damaged and fragile and insecure and he wants to help me and be there for me. He made me smile so much yesterday and today. He tells that I'm sweet and cute and beautiful and he wants to hug me and hold my hand. His name's Ryan and he lives 3 hours away from me. And, he wants to be with me. He could find so many better, less damaged girls, but he wants to be with me.

I've spent the last two and a half weeks with Alisa and Zoey. Zoey is convinced that I'm her dad. I walk by her and she calls me her dada. She is so freaking cute.

I haven't talked to Angel in a week. The last thing I told him was that I was going to kill myself. He never responded. I'm not sure he even cares. The man I fell in love with is gone. Who ever he is now is a complete stranger. He's cold and distant and cruel. I realized the other day that I've been mostly single since he got out of training in October. At least, then when he quit talking to me. It's better for me to let go and try to rebuild myself.

Well, that's all I really have to say for now. Just waiting to hear back from Ryan :)

~Me, finally beginning to be ok.


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