Starry Nights

Hello guys, I know it's been a bit of time since I gave a real update on here. Things with Ryan are going well. Even though I'm a complete and total mess, he's super patient and understanding and sweet. But, with his work schedule, he hasn't been able to come down and see me yet. Which sucks, but I'm glad he has a job.
I just feel so lonely. I haven't been held or cuddled since August. I miss being wrapped up in someone's arms, feeling safe and warm and wanted. I miss the life I had. I miss him. Even though I'm with someone new, I still miss him. I probably always will. I gave him so much of myself and he broke me. Ryan wants to help me pick the pieces up and put everything back together.
Rachelle asked me Tuesday what I would do if Angel called and wanted me back. I told her, honestly, I don't know. I really don't.

But...I'm gonna go before I start sobbing.

~Me

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

wow

We rented 18 movies yesterday. We had to go back to school TODAY. We so did not think this through. This is why we can't do things without supervision even though I'm 18 and she's 17 going on 18. Damn are we dumb. The two we watched last night: Rise: Blood Hunter Kettle of Fish both were okay, not in my top 20 though. a few of the top 20 1.Donnie Darko 2.King of California 3.Eulogy 4.Wristcutters 5.The Lost Boys 6.Ferris Buehler's Day Off I'll add the rest of this list at a later time. ~RJ
Read more

You've been the only thing that's right in a life time

One year ago today, I got off a plane in Austin, Texas. One year ago today, I saw you for the very first time. It's been one year since our first kiss, the first time we held hands, first time we fell asleep wrapped up around each other. One year since my life changed completely. It was one year ago today that I knew I would spend the rest of my life loving you. I remember being so worried that you would be different some how. Like you wouldn't be the same man I had been talking to for so much time. But you were that man. And I love you more and more each day.
Read more

Someone call the doctor and someone call the nurse....

Well, I had to spend the morning in the hospital. Day three with a fever and sore throat that had white spots on it. And, to top it all off, woke up with both ear in a fuck ton of pain. I have acute tonsillitis and infections in both ears. Oh joy. They gave me amoxacicilin and Tylenol with codeine. Guess I'm going to sleep really freaking great tonight. They also gave me a shot of steroids in the ass to get the swelling in my throat to go down, it was that bad. The actual shot didn't hurt though. Kind of made me wonder why they don't give all shots like that. Angel called to check on me when ever he had a moment to get to his phone. I am so very lucky to have such a loving and caring man. Found out that the new Shutterbox will be out some time soon, super excited about that. Books of Adam (http://www.booksofadam.com/) updated today. It seem the universe is trying to make me feel better today :) Well, I'm out. ~Me
Read more