Silence is Serenity

Angel is coming to Toledo on the 24th. I can't wait to see him again.

I'm coming clean Today is my mom's birthday. She's out of town with Davey and dad. She's 40 today. Angel said we're getting a dog, named Claude. His step-grandma is giving him to us. I don't really know too much other than that. Hope to find out more about said dog. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I'm so tired of being in Ohio, tired of being so far away from Angel. I'm tired of working a job that I HATE. I'm tired of feeling so lonely because my friends either have kids or just don't want to do anything or are "too busy". I feel isolated. Things will be better when I move out. When I'm with Angel. At least, I really hope he's right about that. I'm out, going to go and take a nap. I work tonight, oh fucking joy. I need a vacation.

We had a serious conversation yesterday. We listened and came to a compromise. I feel better about where our relationship is headed. Nothing else to say.

It has been a rough week. I am ready for this year to just end. I'm not really sure how much more of this I can take. One thing after another :/ My friend Tarrah's grandma passed away at the of 66 after having a brain aneurysm burst. Tarrah was the last person to talk to her. Tuesday, Angel had to have our pretty kitty Snuff put down. Our beautiful baby. He wasn't even a year old. Snuff was staying at a friend's house because his parents wouldn't let him keep Snuff or Mooch at the house until they were fixed. He didn't have the money to get them fixed. So they stayed with a friend. A DIFFERENT friend called Angel and said she was coming to get him, that Snuff was peeing blood. He had a urinary tract infection so bad it was shutting his kidnies down. The vet said surgery was an option but felt that Snuff would die on the table. He passed half way through euthinaztion, leading us to believe he would have passed before surgery could have even begun. It was a tragic...

My sister, her fiancee and thier baby got kicked out of her grandma's house. Those were the text messages and phone call I woke up to today. Her grandma asked them to clean some stuff, so they started to do so and she freaked out and started to throw things with the baby in the middle of the room. Colin asked her to stop and they got into a huge screaming match. Thier staying at Alex's for now and looking to get an apartment tomorrow. Angel and his buddy are looking into getting an apartment. Which means Angel would be coming to get me within the next year. He told me this and I cried in joy. I miss him so fucking much. He stayed up on the phone with me last night, until he passed out, because I was coughing so hard and could barely breathe. He was so worried about me. I hate making him worry. But it meant a lot to me that he would try to stay up with me. I love him. Well, I'm off. Helping Angel's little brother work through relationship drama. ~Me

I hate Valentine's Day. I always have. There is nothing even remotely redeeming about it. It's a scheme to guilt men into buying shiney baubles for thier girls and to then guilt said girls into giving the guys a little physical attention (based on how much they spent, of course). I mean, really? You need a fucking day to let your significant other know you actually care? What a load of bullshit. Ugh, I'm depressed as hell today. I miss Angel, this distance shit sucks. All I want is to cuddle up with him and watch a Knight's Tale or Gladiator, something..anything. I'd be content to just lay with my head in his lap and watch him play video games. It's been 4 months since I've seen him last. And I still cry myself to sleep almost every night. Fuck, I'm off of here for the night. I'm gonna...be bored until Angel calls me back.

So, all sad things aside, Angel and I have been together for 9 months today. I still can't believe how fast the time has gone. It seems like it was just yesterday we started talking again. And I love him, so much. I mean, I want to marry this boy one day. His paperwork went through, finally, for the Navy. We discussed it earlier. He's gonna do reserves for a year and then go active duty. He's hoping to be sworn in tomorrow, work allowing. Well, I'm out for a bit. Gonna read and do shits. ~RJC