tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64548031518831734802024-02-07T01:16:26.622-05:00Silence is SerenityBecause, maybe, silence isn't such a bad thing.Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.comBlogger129125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-73523586615792090782015-10-13T06:09:00.000-04:002015-10-13T06:09:19.865-04:00My Immortal and a Waking NightmareFive years ago today, I came back to Ohio after spending a week in Texas with my first love. This month also marks four years since our relationship fell apart and two years since I lost my dogs. Needless to say, this is really not my time of year anymore. And it fucking sucks. October used to be my favorite thing for so many reasons. Crisp weather, the leaves changing colors and spiraling to the ground, clear blue skies and Orion visible at night, not to mention Halloween and apple season. Instead, I've spent the last few years dreading everything to do with October because of Angel. It sounds stupid, I know, we've been over for four years, but I still have a hard time with that. I think it might be because I fell in love with him when I was sixteen (three years before we dated) and I had really thought we had something. I can honestly say that I have not let anyone that close since him and that is a terrible thing.
There's a sort of loneliness lurking inside of me and I have grown so accustomed to it that the idea of trying to fill that void terrifies me. So, I choose to hide away, put up these impossible walls and barricade what's left of me. So much so that I don't even know where the maze of traps begins or ends anymore, something that makes it so much harder to let down those tired old defenses. I push and lash out, desperate to show people that I am not something that can be tamed or, worse, loved. It's a cruel cycle and, for the life of me, I have no idea how to break it.
So I write. I pour my issues into fictional characters and find them all of the things I cannot find for myself. I give this imaginary world all of the things I wish I could have, hoping it will help in some manner or another. It's easy to get lost in, but then the computer goes quiet for the night, I log off of things and the reality of the world comes crashing back in waves that pull me under without a breath and I am so tired of feeling like I'm constantly drowning.
I just want to feel worthy of love.Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-54024968244035772462015-08-10T05:44:00.001-04:002015-08-10T05:44:06.009-04:00Sing me something softGo figure, I vanished for a whole year again. Well, a year, a month and three days. Oops? I'd say I'm sorry, but the truth is, I simply keep forgetting I still have this thing. Life's funny like that, I suppose.
A few updates of importance have occurred, but not many. I moved into a new apartment back in December after the old one was deemed unsafe for people to live in. I was promoted to full time at work (yes, I am still working at Wendy's) and that's actually a good thing because it gives me financial stability. My little brother lives with his girlfriend and is doing pretty damn well for himself and that's really about it.
I keep thinking I should delete this with how little I use it, but there are a lot of memories of on here and I am awful at deleting anything. My fuck ton of accounts on tumblr are proof of that one. So, I guess I should just try to use this more often.
By the way, why are most of my readers from Russia? Because that's actually sort of cool to me.
Any way, Sie out~Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-14366523594450479402014-06-07T02:11:00.001-04:002014-06-07T02:11:28.462-04:00Well now, it has been a long ass time since I was last on here. Guess I really ought to update just so you guys know I'm still alive.
A quick recap:
Single
Living alone-ish (I have a cat named Loki)
Parentals divorced
Mom's dating a woman
Dad's dating anything with tits
My little brother graduates high school today
My sister is well
My niece is now three (and loves zombies)
My older brother is going to be a dad
Working fast food makes me hate people more than I already did
RPing on tumblr
That is literally my life these days. Although, there might be something wrong with me. Either my work shoes are fucking me over or there's something wrong with my right leg. The latter being totally possible since my hips are set kinda funky.
There's nothing else to really report, I suppose.
~Sie out.Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-11202818993407948632012-02-18T21:15:00.000-05:002012-02-18T21:16:22.247-05:00X-Men :Dpart one<br />So, I've been pretty much in love with X-Men most of my life. But I've always been pretty quiet about it..except when forced to watch those shitty fucking love action movies(they make me RAGE). I've recently decided that I want to cosplay Rogue professionally. And I don't mean half assed, wigs and shit. I mean, I want to make all the outfits by hand, cut my hair to match hers and bleach the front white. My natural hair color is same as her's so that's an easy one<br /><br />part two<br />So, we're making this huge group for our X-Men cosplay and narrowing down which costumes from which X-Men series.<br />We have Astonishing Emma Frost and Scott "Cyclops" Summers<br />Legacy Rogue<br />The rest haven't told me what outfits they want but we have<br />Remy "Gambit" LeBeau<br />Kitty "Shadowcat" Pryde<br />Magneto<br />and one undecided (Either Mystique or Nightcrawler)<br /><br />Instead of getting a wig, I will be actually dying my hair to match Rogue's. My poor bangs are going to hate me but not a fuck is given. :3 I found my fabrics today for the costume, so that's a plus. I also have to learn a southern accent...Wish me luck ^-^Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-84463712452742307392011-12-27T00:08:00.003-05:002011-12-27T00:11:45.346-05:00How the Years Go By<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ2W_3qYg1ugplleTvvD6Qo5PnsgT8rRhf2_khX9EElEBN5rPtaKVdI3ajCldq-qwOQGOf3Yz3MbeiDWIBGjInVnU87uX7lNnXKd5-_lFUZf3u3DIaHzTx6dyp-LCLUik4XcRPG55z8g7d/s1600/%253Dp.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ2W_3qYg1ugplleTvvD6Qo5PnsgT8rRhf2_khX9EElEBN5rPtaKVdI3ajCldq-qwOQGOf3Yz3MbeiDWIBGjInVnU87uX7lNnXKd5-_lFUZf3u3DIaHzTx6dyp-LCLUik4XcRPG55z8g7d/s320/%253Dp.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5690670864956386786" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLpFtns-hqiBG1WUl1-2P7VhRyiVTvBfv_Qd_1BI-bHWzgUNGiMwVyiNmLWAsPBSk_GrLlfsB_RzX6z6JqPRl3vQYPC5dxzJzjHmUDHxo-f97WUctCgyyWDcKU0S44OKK1huoKo59O3DaV/s1600/a.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLpFtns-hqiBG1WUl1-2P7VhRyiVTvBfv_Qd_1BI-bHWzgUNGiMwVyiNmLWAsPBSk_GrLlfsB_RzX6z6JqPRl3vQYPC5dxzJzjHmUDHxo-f97WUctCgyyWDcKU0S44OKK1huoKo59O3DaV/s320/a.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5690670870805709218" /></a><br /><br /><br />Happy first birthday to my beautiful, amazing niece, Zoey. I love you so much, baby girl and there is NOTHING I won't do for you...That being said, totally smashing cake in your face later..because I love you ♥<br /><br />Strange to think my little niece is 1 already. Seems like just yesterday I was holding her in the hospital, trying not to cry because of just how beautiful she was and still is. This last year, through everything good and bad, she has been a constant. A reason to smile, a reason to live for. She saved my life when I hit the bottom of my emotions. I love that little girl more than anything in this world. So, again, happy birthday Baby Girl. Your Auntie Sie Sie loves you so much <3Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-7854867406957306962011-12-20T04:50:00.001-05:002011-12-20T04:50:25.395-05:00I'm not okayI keep looking at the day and just...falling apart. 5 days from now, the one man I truly loved was supposed to ask me to marry him. At least, that's what he told my mother in September. 8 days from now, I was supposed to be moving. I was supposed to be moving to Texas to live with him. I was supposed to be happy.<br />I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of the constant pain. I just want to let go, move on completely and never look back.<br /><br />Fuck. Everything.Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-2832753733862260482011-12-16T00:34:00.002-05:002011-12-16T00:46:25.610-05:00Starry NightsHello guys, I know it's been a bit of time since I gave a real update on here. Things with Ryan are going well. Even though I'm a complete and total mess, he's super patient and understanding and sweet. But, with his work schedule, he hasn't been able to come down and see me yet. Which sucks, but I'm glad he has a job.<br />I just feel so lonely. I haven't been held or cuddled since August. I miss being wrapped up in someone's arms, feeling safe and warm and wanted. I miss the life I had. I miss him. Even though I'm with someone new, I still miss him. I probably always will. I gave him so much of myself and he broke me. Ryan wants to help me pick the pieces up and put everything back together. <br />Rachelle asked me Tuesday what I would do if Angel called and wanted me back. I told her, honestly, I don't know. I really don't. <br /><br />But...I'm gonna go before I start sobbing. <br /><br />~MeSiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-4391987841989497442011-12-08T14:40:00.000-05:002011-12-08T14:41:47.049-05:00MondayMonday is going to rock. Alisa and I are gonna go and hang out with Tarrah. Ryan's going to try to get off of work and come see me and we're going to watch all 3 Lord of the Rings on extended edition with Alisa and Cory. It's going to be a great, amazing day and I am so excited.Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-22364844702206123832011-12-06T17:46:00.003-05:002011-12-06T17:54:12.623-05:00YesterdayYesterday was amazing. I found someone that makes me smile. He's cute and sweet and funny. He has fluffy hair and pretty eyes and he understands that I'm emotionally damaged and fragile and insecure and he wants to help me and be there for me. He made me smile so much yesterday and today. He tells that I'm sweet and cute and beautiful and he wants to hug me and hold my hand. His name's Ryan and he lives 3 hours away from me. And, he wants to be with me. He could find so many better, less damaged girls, but he wants to be with me. <br /><br />I've spent the last two and a half weeks with Alisa and Zoey. Zoey is convinced that I'm her dad. I walk by her and she calls me her dada. She is so freaking cute.<br /><br />I haven't talked to Angel in a week. The last thing I told him was that I was going to kill myself. He never responded. I'm not sure he even cares. The man I fell in love with is gone. Who ever he is now is a complete stranger. He's cold and distant and cruel. I realized the other day that I've been mostly single since he got out of training in October. At least, then when he quit talking to me. It's better for me to let go and try to rebuild myself.<br /><br />Well, that's all I really have to say for now. Just waiting to hear back from Ryan :)<br /><br />~Me, finally beginning to be ok.Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-71903574739671089212011-11-16T23:13:00.003-05:002011-11-16T23:17:22.333-05:00I guess it was all a lie.Saturday night was the worst night of my life. Angel called me and told me he wants a break from our relationship. I don't understand how he can just walk away after a year and a half together. I don't get how he can tell me he still loves me but go and do this. He swears that there's no one else, says he just wants to focus on his career by himself. Even after telling me for months he wants to marry me, after telling me that he was getting a ring. He told my mother that he was going to propose for Christmas, at my grandparents' house, in front of my entire family. Who does that? I have never been so crushed in my life. Today is the first time I have actually left my bedroom for longer than 5 minutes. I feel sick to my stomach, I had a headache and I just want to curl up in a ball and never wake up again. ;~;<br /><br />Fuck Life.Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-72588742971707550782011-11-08T00:05:00.002-05:002011-11-08T00:11:02.631-05:00SolitudeThere is almost no worse feeling than that of being so low on someone's list of priorities that they can't even do what they said they would.<br />Angel said he'd have time to call me. I had been texting him daily to remind him that we need to talk and that it is very important. Apparently, listening to his mother bitch about her ex husband is more important than discussing our future. Never mind the fact that she's an adult and has friends that she can bitch to. Not to mention, he's already stressed enough without her dumping her every little issue on him. Like it's his responsibility to hold her hand because her ex sent her text message. Never mind the fact that I am apparently the only person that has to make sacrifices when it comes to Angel. Never mind the fact that I have fight tooth and nail just to get him to fucking text me. I am so depressed that I don't even know what to do anymore. And what's worse? I've told him how this shit makes me feel and he keeps doing it. <br /><br />I think I'm just going to go and cry myself to sleep.Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-36760078720879080372011-11-03T22:19:00.001-04:002011-11-03T22:21:46.780-04:00I think, MaybeI'm kind of wondering if I should mention to Angel that I want to marry him before he ever gets deployed anywhere. Tat way I don't freak out so much and he know that no matter how bad things get when he's gone, I'll still be at home waiting for him to come back to me. The thing is...How do I put that into words? <br /><br />I just have so much on my mind with this and am not sure who to talk to.<br /><br /><br />~MeSiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-81043401429329645792011-11-02T23:02:00.004-04:002011-11-02T23:10:01.362-04:00The Lines We CrossI finally got to really talk to Angel yesterday. I was happy to hear from him but he had some stuff to say that is hard to handle and I'm not quite sure how to cope. He decided to switch his contract to active duty. I'm not moving to Texas in December because we don't have the money right now. He has no idea when we're going to be able to see each other but he wants to be able to see me before he has to deploy. And that's the big part of what's going on. Deployment. The one word I was afraid of hearing. I'm scared and I don't really know how to handle it. He'll be gone for 6 months to a year. I have never been more afraid of anything in my life. He doesn't know when or where to yet, he promised me he'd let me know when he does.<br />He did do something today that made me really happy. He told me last name that I probably wouldn't hear from him today since he was going to be super busy. Even with that, he still text me. And found the time to call his buddy Adam who really, <span style="font-style:italic;">really</span>needed him.<br /><br />Well, I guess I'll fill everyone in on the basics once I know.<br /><br />~MeSiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-34711234332357275902011-10-31T22:53:00.004-04:002011-10-31T22:58:17.697-04:00Happy HalloweenHappy Halloween to everyone out there! :D<br />Angel actually text me today, shocker right there. I dressed up and passed out candy to adorable little kids. Sadly, did not get too many trick or treaters and am now left with a ton of candy. <br />My little niece Zoey was dressed as Princess Aurora, Tabatha dressed Lacey and Zayden as pirates which is what my cousin Carissa dressed her daughter as. <br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih2DwGm-cMUAm9TOqPxNIGkRhmUPvmRNl39jgx3GG5Aa_nLG6W3Cg5YfjDOoeJmsMH90UXf7rFn2qIUWqlvBOUj6ydgThio_5_ZX8nLnt-XFHK4JABcwlzGHRpgC2wM2P5OUJO42wGmxHl/s1600/18.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih2DwGm-cMUAm9TOqPxNIGkRhmUPvmRNl39jgx3GG5Aa_nLG6W3Cg5YfjDOoeJmsMH90UXf7rFn2qIUWqlvBOUj6ydgThio_5_ZX8nLnt-XFHK4JABcwlzGHRpgC2wM2P5OUJO42wGmxHl/s320/18.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669856106974135442" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGknkFQtiCFJXhv4Oz8WTg0RkjfZWORV7CzMmnAvtdCcVmKKLfR_k1vGXyf3q8RtVYe-buIbOkR_PVw8TyIvfX0sDkHVVttaeGY8e6gxgt5uqo0cIUooNoMzGIbmAMp1nHQhk6ru_CNliq/s1600/16.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGknkFQtiCFJXhv4Oz8WTg0RkjfZWORV7CzMmnAvtdCcVmKKLfR_k1vGXyf3q8RtVYe-buIbOkR_PVw8TyIvfX0sDkHVVttaeGY8e6gxgt5uqo0cIUooNoMzGIbmAMp1nHQhk6ru_CNliq/s320/16.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669856096220066210" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXCIDspQrXJfujHx0W5RZ3OXyypkzwiYspVY96EsjUl50Geu_YcUBGuoY06S_vTnF-etXDElJ87lS4Wvb4rYK4_oLMbp3BIpZ2N7gl6fm239iy4Bz7twBRG38PD2g3w6WGSCr_zVhtmX_k/s1600/10.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXCIDspQrXJfujHx0W5RZ3OXyypkzwiYspVY96EsjUl50Geu_YcUBGuoY06S_vTnF-etXDElJ87lS4Wvb4rYK4_oLMbp3BIpZ2N7gl6fm239iy4Bz7twBRG38PD2g3w6WGSCr_zVhtmX_k/s320/10.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669856093694929186" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic0WGMyIZWQ9pWhkBo891D6mrwW8n2dUAG8wrE6_XQQaZUb92y-EEFYOZSgwilnyqRSkXB7cN-OMXExj8wfpC8qkVHJaqLyyQB4eugPjfngGAow6URrVkgyUqy2TneN6kSDFmGkMPBT2oF/s1600/2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic0WGMyIZWQ9pWhkBo891D6mrwW8n2dUAG8wrE6_XQQaZUb92y-EEFYOZSgwilnyqRSkXB7cN-OMXExj8wfpC8qkVHJaqLyyQB4eugPjfngGAow6URrVkgyUqy2TneN6kSDFmGkMPBT2oF/s320/2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669856089448788610" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWOITeNI0DxQN91vvax6hp3iDUPoBEWmHK3ZgEBvXWbbOHXwRRttmnNCMRMMrmmJiOjYS_4lyTK2ArTlcUZO5YLf5tmtroG7ZNLjGVk2JajyIN5aQb2b4zQQ4qow23cGxs_yrBZRmEbIpt/s1600/19.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWOITeNI0DxQN91vvax6hp3iDUPoBEWmHK3ZgEBvXWbbOHXwRRttmnNCMRMMrmmJiOjYS_4lyTK2ArTlcUZO5YLf5tmtroG7ZNLjGVk2JajyIN5aQb2b4zQQ4qow23cGxs_yrBZRmEbIpt/s320/19.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669856113805245218" /></a><br /><br /><br />TADA! :D<br /><br />Well, I'm out for now kiddos <3Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-82598026641225870282011-10-29T23:20:00.002-04:002011-10-29T23:23:37.179-04:00AwayI'm pretty depressed right now, not going to lie. Even though my friend Karin came over today, I still feel really lonely not being able to talk to Angel. Made less than decent peanut butter cookies. Note to self, cheap peanut butter is disgusting. <br />/le sigh.<br /><br />Don't really know what else to say right now.Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-60837301274762535312011-10-27T01:33:00.004-04:002011-10-27T01:52:44.769-04:00Coming CleanThe last 24 hours has been rough. Not because of anything that has happened to me, but because of what has been happening to the people around me. <br />We'll start with my "Wife" Tarrah. First, a little back story. I met Tarrah in the seventh grade, 8 years ago. She was my first real friend when I moved. She's the one that introduced me to Alisa. We spent the whole school year as best friends. Then, at the end of the school year, Tarrah and her family moved to Arizona. She later had a baby daughter, Kadance. Things with Kady's dad didn't work out and she and Kady moved back to Ohio to live with Tarrah's grandparents. Then, she started to date Aaron. I despised him almost instantly. He was quick to anger, didn't like her hanging out with people unless he was there and quite honestly, something about him didn't sit well with me. I begged her to break things off before things got serious. The more I begged, the more she pushed away and the more he isolated her from her friends. We drifted apart. Didn't speak for two years. I looked her up online one day. Sent her a message. We made plans to hang out. At this point, she and Aaron (now married and expecting a baby) were living apart. He was living at his parents while Tarrah was still at her grandparents. This was right before Kadance turned 3. Baby Anastyn was born about a month later. We went through a six month period where we barely spoke. Aaron had got on her facebook and deleted me from her friends. I decided to back off because I didn't want to be the cause of more fights between the two of them. I messaged Tarrah's grandma one day, needing to know how Tarrah and the girls were doing. Her grandmother was one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Tarrah sent me a friend request a couple days later. She and Aaron had gotten an apartment. Tarrah later tried to leave him, moving back in with her grandparents. About a month after that, Tarrah's grandmother tragically passed away after an aneurysm had burst in her brain. Tarrah was a wreck, vulnerable, completely heartbroken. Her grandma was hero, her grandma had basically raised her. Aaron wouldn't leave her alone, no matter how much she told him to. She eventually moved back in with him. A few days ago, Tarrah told me that she told Aaron she wanted a divorce. She moved back to her grandpa's, taking both of the girls with her, having the sole intention of joint custody of Anastyn and letting Kady decide if she wanted to Aaron to be in her life. Tarrah went to house she and Aaron had gotten about a month ago to get some stuff. She had made a bit of mess going through one of the boxes and he attacked her. Threw her into a wall, bit her multiple times and threw her down a flight of stairs. He then made her walk back to her grandpa's barefoot. She called the cops, reported the whole thing. He's out of jail on bond and she has a no contact order with the intent of getting a 2 year restraining order and full custody of Ana. Because he did this, he is losing all custodial rights to his only child. Which, to me, isn't nearly enough. <br /><br />Then, my mom called me this morning. My cousin Casey? His wife, Summer, is in the hospital. Last I heard, the doctors had no real idea of what was wrong with her. They originally thought appendicitis, not ruling it out yet, but they are doing more tests and have her on a liquid diet. We have no idea how long she's going to be in the hospital.<br /><br />And through all of this, I have been scared, worried, heartbroken for my friends and family. And even though he is so terribly busy with the Navy and everything that comes with military life, Angel still found the time to be there for me today. I truly am lucky to have so many great people in my life. It's funny how horrible things can bring people together. Take, for example, Tabitha and me. We have a long history of being really close friends one day and hating each other the next. But, no matter what issues she and I have with each other, we have a lot of the same friends and when something happens to one of them, we set aside everything to be there for that friend and make sure that person knows that no matter what, they are more important than petty drama. <br /><br />Life. It's hard and it's fast. It throws curves and, quite honestly, bricks the size of the moon. You fall down, you get hurt. But, with good friends and family, nothing can defeat you. <br /><br />~MeSiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-73431810122200396562011-10-21T20:35:00.002-04:002011-10-21T20:37:39.030-04:00Convince me I've been sick foreverI guess I'm just bumming a little bit. It gets hard being in a long distance relationship without the military aspects. I got to talk to Angel for a little bit today, but it was all through text. He's thinking the whole thing sucks right now too. I guess I'm just feeling lonely. I miss being able to hear his voice and with getting all his paperwork done for his security clearance and trying to take care of his student loans, he's just so busy and worn out. <br />/Sigh<br />This sucks.<br />Is it December yet?<br /><br />~MeSiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-46288515659521533092011-10-18T22:14:00.004-04:002011-10-18T22:22:23.426-04:00If This is What I Call HomeOk, a real update on my life.<br />I went camping with my family last week, down to southern Ohio. It was okay. Wet and windy, but alright. Thankfully, we were in the camper and not tents. Got some pretty nice pictures in the woods by where we were. On the way home, we stopped by the Olentangy Indian Caverns. Which was pretty sweet, not gonna lie. I love caverns.<br />On to the topic of my love life. Angel's phone was off for most of last week. Jeremy's dumb ass never told him there was a bill due and it ended up costing Angel almost 400 dollars to get the phones turned back on. Which, due to the cost, means Angel has no idea when he's going to be able to come up and see me. I was not very happy. Then, add on all the paper work he has to get done and the fact that he's been trying to get the apartment cleaned up because Jeremy trashed the place while Angel was in training. Needless to say, Angel's not been being social at all. I had to fight tooth and nail just to hear from him. This all really makes me hate Jeremy. A lot. Hopefully, Angel will be able to come up soon and hopefully I'll still be moving down there in December. A whole lot of hopefully. Yay for military life /sarcasm.<br />Other news. My seester and Demon are supposed to be coming down for Thanksgiving. I am so stoked to see them again. I have really missed the two of them like freaking crazy. Hung out with Brii Brii last night and we laughed so hard we couldn't breathe. It was a wonderful night. I have such amazing friends. <br /><br />I guess that's really all for now.<br /><br />~MeSiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-52142214055861873372011-10-18T00:14:00.002-04:002011-10-18T00:15:44.190-04:00Let Me Go HomeWell, I'm home from a family camping trip to southern Ohio. Angel graduated from A-School on Friday. And, I have decided, I hate Angel's friend Jeremy. Looooong story. I might get into all of that later. As for right now, I'm just letting everyone know that I am still alive.Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-23658996895178936912011-10-06T19:15:00.002-04:002011-10-06T19:18:33.336-04:00You've been the only thing that's right in a life timeOne year ago today, I got off a plane in Austin, Texas. One year ago today, I saw you for the very first time. It's been one year since our first kiss, the first time we held hands, first time we fell asleep wrapped up around each other. One year since my life changed completely. It was one year ago today that I knew I would spend the rest of my life loving you. I remember being so worried that you would be different some how. Like you wouldn't be the same man I had been talking to for so much time. But you were that man. And I love you more and more each day. <3Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-81851483212415013962011-10-01T08:30:00.003-04:002011-10-01T08:33:26.836-04:00Coming Back DownI get to see Angel in 2 weeks!!! I am so excited to see him again, you have no idea. Work was ok last night, we were really slow. Granted, in the last like hour we did over a 100 bucks. It sucked. Nothing like last minute people to set you back half an hour. On the 8th season of Scrubs, bored. Still missing Angel like freaking crazy. <br />Well, I need to get some sleep. Night world.<br /><br />~MeSiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-75797953596015675962011-09-22T22:47:00.001-04:002011-09-22T22:50:19.980-04:00A quick updateDone with Angel's mom. So done. Grow the fuck up, stop whining and start acting like a fucking parent. Quit asking your son for fucking money! Selfish bitch.<br />Angel's doing really well in A-School, passing everything, got a medal for expert rifleman :)<br />Work is work and it sucks.<br />Zoey is on the brink of walking and Alisa is trying to teach her to call me Aunt SiSi <3<br />Moving in December. Packing hardcore now.<br /><br />~MeSiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-60773674478838600702011-09-09T16:51:00.003-04:002011-09-09T16:54:58.399-04:00Counting heartbeatsOh how the time flies. I've been sitting here, thinking about where I was this time last year. I was counting days until my trip to Texas to see Angel for the first time. Arguing almost non-stop with my mom about me going. Alisa was still pregnant with Zoey. <br />And now. I'm counting down the days until I see Angel again. Counting down the days until I move. Fighting with mom every other week about me moving so far away. Zoey is a little over 8 months old. <br /><br />Life is funny.<br /><br />~MeSiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-54555000930636607912011-08-31T22:47:00.003-04:002011-08-31T22:52:59.436-04:00Someone call the doctor and someone call the nurse....Well, I had to spend the morning in the hospital. Day three with a fever and sore throat that had white spots on it. And, to top it all off, woke up with both ear in a fuck ton of pain. I have acute tonsillitis and infections in both ears. Oh joy. They gave me amoxacicilin and Tylenol with codeine. Guess I'm going to sleep really freaking great tonight. They also gave me a shot of steroids in the ass to get the swelling in my throat to go down, it was that bad. The actual shot didn't hurt though. Kind of made me wonder why they don't give all shots like that.
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<br />Angel called to check on me when ever he had a moment to get to his phone. I am so very lucky to have such a loving and caring man.
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<br />Found out that the new Shutterbox will be out some time soon, super excited about that. Books of Adam (http://www.booksofadam.com/) updated today. It seem the universe is trying to make me feel better today :)
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<br />Well, I'm out.
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<br />~MeSiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454803151883173480.post-24933040627996422362011-08-28T23:35:00.003-04:002011-08-28T23:36:45.970-04:00AlwaysAngel bought a ring. I had to pout and beg and plead to get him to tell me and I'm glad I did. I have never been happier about something so little as a piece of jewelry. This man...he means everything to me. I'm so lucky to have him. And, knowing he feels the same, makes my heart soar. Siehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17977960296953660164noreply@blogger.com0